MY BIGGEST FEAR IS SUCCESS

On December 11th 2015, I signed up to The Coaching Academy and 7 years later I am now a mentor for their students. It was a moment when I decided I was not 100% with how my future looked.

As it comes to the end of the year, we start to reflect on the previous year, what we have achieved and often what we have not.

It's no secret that I love reading and personal development. In 2021 I read 52 books - a goal I was determined to achieve as I wanted to improve my knowledge and my focus. I noticed that those who were avid readers were more likely to open up a rich conversation and everything starts with a conversation.

I am also very reflective in December and listen to a few specific inspirational pieces - Kobe Bryant and Steve Jobs being two. (My vision board is also my desktop screensaver.)

Today, I grabbed a coffee and watched Steve Jobs Stanford commencement speech. I lose track how many times I have watched this now.

One of my biggest struggles in running my own business is switching off. It's easier said than done especially when all you knew for years in management was sixty+ hour weeks. 

I have had some hard inner growth sessions and had to dig deep with my coach Adam to get under the surface of "time management." This is simply too surface level to be discussed.

What has become apparent is that I have had some big fears surfacing.

Interestingly, none of them stem around a fear of failure.

They centre around a fear of success.

First of all, I noticed you have to be honest with yourself about your fears.

I have a huge fear of success.

Previously I had reached a point in my corporate career where I had the nice car, a couple of Mulberry bags, the lush holidays and the mortgage was "just" paid every month. To an outsider I looked very successful in an industry that was challenging for females to reach senior levels.

Inside, I hated my life. Nothing was fun and I worked myself into a place of trying to be grateful for the smallest of things.

I have a strong belief in myself. My dad once remarked "I've never met anyone with such strong belief."

I don't doubt what I can achieve when I invest in myself, have the right support around me and work hard. (Yes I believe in working hard. It's almost becoming a taboo subject!)

Although, I have a strong compelling vision for life and business, the fear of not being happy when I achieve this is daunting.

But I can let that fake narrative and old me hold me back or I can invest in the idea of holding this fear as a gift and maximising my potential.

It's the challenge of committing to working hard to create something amazing without the fear which is not true.

The focus has to be on loving what you do, focus on achieving great things and essentially never lose sight of why we do what we do.

My why is to have more time freedom to create experiences and make life long memories with those I love and care. That's happiness and success.

With this brings another fear which is losing those I love... my loved ones.

What if I work so hard I miss the opportunity to have those experience and make those memories?

For now, the way I focus on diffusing this notion of fear of success and fear of losing my loved ones is to ensure I plan my diary around my love for life.

The priority every week is to focus on things that will make me happy. These are non negotiable tasks that have to get done. The meetings will still happen and so will the holidays, but if I fail to plan what is most important to me... it simply won't get done. Map out a life you want.

That's why this week I made sure I planned in time with my parents as I hadn't seen them properly for over a week or so.

Now, my parents are busy people - they have a busier social life than Miss Potts so I went for a cuppa with mum and when she was out Christmas lunching with the girls, dad and I went out for lunch.

I have many amazing coaches and mentors but the truth it, these two are my best mentors.

My mum is a life mentor - how to treat people and be a good person. My mum is honestly the kindest person I know - a heart of gold. (Sometimes she needs some strong Pottsy direction when she is too nice. Brings out the Tony Soprano protective side in myself, my bro and my dad.)

My dad is epitomises pure wisdom. It's that simple.

Be aware of your fears. Dig deep and go under the surface of why you do what you do and define what success and happiness means to you. Not society or anyone that sounds convincing in telling you what to do.

We are human beings not doings.

Just as Steve Jobs shared in the Stanford Commencement speech:

"Death is a destination we all share... It's life's change agent... Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by the dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become."

Your fears are there... but they are a narrative you tell yourself. They are there to be challenged and to guide you.

A great life is not just going to happen. It is in you to create. When we face into our fears and recognise we all inevitably have the same ending things fall away... you have nothing to lose!

As my friend Joel (another man full of wisdom) would say "stay hungry"... don't fear your fears... change the story.

What will your story be in 2023?